A little about me

Funny, as I write this I think who wants to read this?  I do not even know if I want to read it, but I feel I need to write it.  I guess I am trying to find out what it means to be a few things that I call myself.

• A Stay at Home Mom
• A Strong Woman
• A Mother of a Child With Special Needs
• A Friend
• A Good Girlfriend
• Someone Who Has a Clue

So really, what does it take to be a Stay at Home Mom (sahm)?  Do I really have what it takes?  I think not.  I am not betty homemaker, I do not enjoy household chores but I will do them when needed.  I love my son but I do not know how to help him right now.  There are a ton of things I have NO CLUE about but pretend to the rest of the world that I have a clue.

My son, he is 4 you will probably read a lot about him if you or anyone reads this at all, but I know I talk about him all the time to anyone and everyone.  Right now I say Special Needs because really we are in the process of finding out what all he is dealing with.  We are pretty sure he has Sensory Issues, ADHD, but he may also be somewhere on the Autistic Spectrum or have Defiance Dissorder and a few other things the Dr. said.  Really it is all so many options that it's too much to think about. 

My boyfriend and I have been together 6 years (in Jan) and yes he is the father of my child, no we are not married nor engaged to be married.  I am not always sure how I feel about this particular issue.  Sometimes I am happy with the arrangement and then others I am crying inside because I want the whole fairy tale. I know there is no such thing per se but life is what you make it so if you want the fairy tale then make it the fairy tale, right?  He is good to me, and our son very much the provider manly man type of guy.  He too is a musician, plays bass and I sing, love to sing.  Right now we are in what I call a RUT, neither of us are really happy with our current situation, we live with his parents and he works part time, but at the moment there is nothing we can do.  So the last thing on either of our minds is romance or connecting. 

Wow I sound pathetic, but right now I feel pathetic so I guess it fits.